Kohler's Tiny Toilet Camera Analyzes the Contents and Reports Back to You

Some smart litter boxes can monitor our pets' habits and health, so having a camera in our human toilet bowls seems inevitable. That's just what kitchen and bathroom fixture company Kohler has done for its new health and wellness brand, Kohler Health, as has startup Throne. 

Both devices clamp over the rim like a toilet bowl cleaner, pointing an optical sensor at your excretions and secretions. Kohler's $599 Dekoda analyzes the images to detect any blood and reviews your gut health and hydration status. Depending on the plan you choose, the subscription fee is between $70 and $156 per year. Throne costs $400 (there's a preorder discount to $320) plus a membership fee.

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At toilet time, you sign in to the Dekoda via a fingerprint sensor so that the device knows who's using the facilities. (Please wash your hands before signing out or tracking your progress.) Then, check in with the app for the day's analysis and trends over time. The device has a removable, rechargeable battery and uses a USB connection. 

Throne's twists include a proximity sensor that activates your activity tracking via Bluetooth when it detects your phone nearby, though if you don't want to start doomscrolling your health you can also program on-device buttons. It also has an audio sensor to analyze select urination-related metrics "for those who pee standing up." (Which my brain now negatively associates with the company's use of the phrase "bathroom biomarkers.")

Kohler says Dekoda secures your data via the aforementioned fingerprint scanner and end-to-end encryption, and notes that the camera uses "discreet optics," looking only at the results, not your body parts. Same goes for Throne. 

"Dekoda's sensors see down into your toilet and nowhere else," the company says. 

Kohler warns that its technology doesn't work very well with dark toilet colors, which makes sense. I'm sure there could be an upsell model with a light on it. Maybe the company could add an olfactory sensor, since smell reveals a lot about your gut health, too. It could track "session" length or buildup under the rim to alert whoever has responsibility to clean it.

Kohler must have been straining to find appropriate lifestyle photos to include with the publicity materials. Many of the images are hilarious, featuring fit-looking men and women drinking water and staring off into space contemplatively -- probably thinking about gas.