Do You Hate Your Budget? Try This Instead

Let's face it. The way you're managing your budget probably makes you feel bad.

Religiously adding your bills and necessities to a budgeting app or spreadsheet is tiresome and mundane, to say the least. Then you spend time trying to figure out what you can do differently to have more money each month. You may even feel let down because you tried to reach a goal but didn't.

It's demotivating and grueling. This method of budgeting also won't help you reach your financial goals at all. 

Budgets aren't inherently bad. Sticking to a budget is how I became debt-free. But the traditional technique doesn't work for most people -- myself included. As a money coach living in my "rich auntie era," I found a better way to make sure I cover all the essential bills, while still working toward my long-term money goals. If you're sick of monotonous budgeting, try my method.

Why you dread your boring budget

I have a few budgeting techniques, including my spend-all strategy. What I found is that traditional budgeting is rooted in tracking past expenses and reprimanding yourself for what money you shouldn’t have spent. Then, if you don’t feel completely hopeless, you make a plan for not spending the money next time. That approach doesn't work, and it’s bad for your mental health.

Here are the top five red flags for why your budgeting routine isn’t working.

🚩 Depriving yourself from living life: You constantly feel restricted and unable to enjoy yourself.

🚩 Guilt from spending: You feel ashamed when you spend money, even when it's on planned expenses. 

🚩 One small change can be nerve-racking: You obsessively track every single expense or pore over tiny details. 

🚩 Trouble with debt and spending: Your debt is rising instead of shrinking, or you’ve gone over your budget more than three times a year. 

🚩 Financial discussions are daunting: You dread talking about money, even with close friends or family. 

Think of your budget as your bestie

I think of my budget as a living, breathing friend – one I look forward to meeting every month because she supports me in achieving my dreams.

This approach helped my husband and me retire early after paying off $300,000 of debt in three years and investing over $1 million. We did it without inheriting money or receiving financial guidance from our parents. I created a simple budget with three categories to make managing my money simple and stress-free every month. Here’s how I break it down:

I don’t waste time reflecting on last month’s expenses. Instead, I focus on what I’m planning within these three categories with the same excited energy as planning for vacations. Here’s how you can use this method to make your budget less boring and more motivating.

Read more: More Couples Should Have the Money Talk. Here’s Why (and How to Do It)

Put your Strive category first, seriously

When budgeting, most people allocate money for all their everyday expenses first, then use what’s left over for saving, paying down debt or investing. But life happens and more often than not, there’s no money left over. Why not put that goal first in your Strive category? 

For example, if you want to save $1,000 this year, start with the goal of transferring $100 into your high-yield savings account. This helps your budget be more motivating because you prioritized and completed the goal. It’s great to start off with a high five rather than a slap on the wrist.

You need a cash cushion for this to work

To feel comfortable prioritizing your goals before your necessities, you need a cash flow cushion. Think of it as a buffer in your checking account to give you peace of mind that you can cover your bills. The exact amount will vary, but usually, it’s the equivalent of one month’s worth of expenses. This isn’t an emergency fund (though that’s important to build up, too).

For example, if you typically spend $3,000 on expenses each month, make sure your checking account never goes below this number. Having that money stashed in your account can help you stop worrying about your next payday and help free you from the idea that budgeting is a restriction.

Your Revive category helps you live a fulfilled life

Your Revive category should help you build hobbies and happiness into your budget. Instead of looking rich, focus instead on feeling rich and fulfilled. Here are some examples:

• Instead of booking a vacation that exhausted me more than rejuvenated me, I put that money toward a monthly membership to a yoga studio.
• Instead of buying clothes or gadgets for retail therapy by default when I'm stressed, I pay for therapy sessions. 
• Instead of eating out for convenience, knowing that the food wasn’t nourishing, I eat out to connect with close friends or experience new cultures.

The Revive category is often overlooked or shunned when budgeting. But the Revive category is the most important part of your budget. You should allocate at least 25% of your net income toward nonessential expenses that enrich your overwhelming workweek.

Set your Survive category to autopay 

Setting up autopay for your monthly bills can significantly improve your relationship with your budget. Think about setting it up for your cell phone, insurance and energy bill. Having a "set it and forget it" approach comes with some benefits: 

• Reduced stress and anxiety that can come with bill due dates and amounts 
• Boosted credit score over time with a good payment history 
• Avoid late fees with on-time payments 
• Improved budgeting time by focusing on larger financial goals
• Financial discipline by automating the things you absolutely need to pay for, regardless of income

Additionally, autopay simplifies daily budgeting, enhances accountability and supports better cash flow management. Setting up automatic payments for these bills means you only need to think about your Revive and Strive goals.

Personalize your budget to make it fun

I condensed all my line items under each of these categories so it doesn’t get overwhelming. I also gave each line item a fun nickname. Here are some examples from my past budgets:

No budget is perfect

Chances are you found budgeting tedious in the past because it was an all-or-nothing plan. If a line item didn't go according to plan, it meant defeat, anxiety and stress. But no budget is 100% perfect all the time. 

I learned that 80% success is good enough to make meaningful progress. If one or two line items on your budget go out of whack, that’s OK. It means you’re living a normal life. 

This budgeting approach gives you a blend of control, flexibility and thoughtful spending. Sticking to a budget 80% of the time is better than not following one at all. 

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