In our 15 years together, my wife and I have achieved some major financial milestones together. We bought -- and paid off -- a car. We bought a condo. We brought a son into the world and navigated the uncertainty of the pandemic. And we did it all while keeping our money separate.
Why? Because it just worked, and I have an "If it isn't broken, don't fix it" mindset. While we're a dual-income household, she earns a much larger portion of that income and we have different attitudes about spending. By maintaining separate bank accounts, we managed to avoid the money stress that plagues many relationships.
We've each been doing our part to keep the family finances chugging along: We split who pays the bills, alternate who picks up the dinner tab and we make individual contributions to our son's college fund. But in 2025, we're finally making our finances a shared journey. Here's why.
Read more: More Couples Should Have the Money Talk. Here's Why (and How to Do It)
🏠 The housing market feels impossible
This all starts with what many people consider the American Dream: owning a home -- in our case, a condo. And when you have a 3-year-old who enjoys running, a condo is a nightmare. As each of us has worked to boost our respective savings accounts, stubbornly high mortgage rates have made buying a bigger place seem harder and harder to achieve.
What we're doing to make it feel more within reach
We opened a joint savings account at Ally Bank. In addition to moving our individual emergency funds there, we created a bucket -- Ally's feature that allows you to create multiple savings goals -- for a down payment and closing costs.
It's a lot easier to save more when someone is holding you accountable, especially when that someone is the person you wake up next to each day. We won't just be setting up automatic transfers, either. We plan to take an everything-adds-up approach to growing the account.
Whenever one of us makes a cheaper spending decision -- taking the train instead of an Uber or Lyft, for example -- we'll move the difference into the account. That may not sound like much, but if you're spending $10 on coffee each workday, that's another $230 saved in January alone.
💸 Our expenses have been on autopilot
We each pay separate bills, but they all have one thing in common: They're a lot more expensive than they used to be. Auto insurance, homeowners insurance, cable and internet, streaming services -- even the monthly fee for our home security system has jumped.
Neither of us has been all that sensitive to the increases, though. As we reviewed some of the notifications from our providers on the impact of inflation, however, we realized we need to be more focused on the bottom line.
What we're doing to control costs
We're already doing what every savvy consumer should do at least once a quarter: reviewing every recurring charge we pay. Moving forward, we'll also ask ourselves two questions: Do we really need it, and can we get it cheaper somewhere else? We've already started shopping around for new auto insurance. There's no reason to stop comparing prices, even with a fixed expense.
We will be opening a joint spending account -- also with Ally -- to manage these expenses. With a shared eye on these charges, one of us is likely to spot increases. We'll maintain our own checking accounts, too, though. After all, there's no need for my wife to hear me complain about that new pair of boots she wanted. I'm better off just being her husband than being her husband who writes about personal finance and annoys her by talking about savings rates.
✈️ It's time to see more of the world
Merging our money isn't simply about making our everyday routine more affordable and planning for the future. It's also about trying to find the fun side of life. We used to travel fairly regularly before we were parents, but we didn't bother to set a budget before a big getaway. We simply booked flights, made hotel reservations and had a blast. When we returned home, I wasn't always diligent about paying off the full balance on my credit card -- one of the big regrets I have about my 20s.
Now that our son is reaching an age where he's a more fun jet setter, we're focused on more travel opportunities. But just like our expenses at home, airfare and hotel rates are giving us a reason to press pause, and I'm relentlessly focused on keeping my credit card balance as close to zero as possible.
What we're doing to plan ahead
Again, we're putting Ally's savings buckets feature to work. Seeing a bucket labeled "beach vacation" encourages us to put more money in our account. We're planning multiple trips this year, including an international vacation, and this is the best way to ensure we're setting a budget and avoiding any temptation to take the pay-it-later route.
Should you combine finances with your partner?
I'm not a financial advisor, and I'm definitely not a relationship counselor. So, I can't offer you any thoughts on whether combining finances with your spouse is best for your specific situation.
What I can tell you is that the data indicates it's worth considering. A recent MarketWatch Guides study shows that couples who use only joint accounts say they're more satisfied with their relationships than couples who keep cash separate. And couples that use only separate accounts are much more likely to argue about money on a regular basis.
Keeping our finances separate worked when my wife and I were first married because everything felt easy. But life gets harder -- and a lot more expensive. With a new shared approach to managing our money, I feel more confident about our financial year ahead than I have in a long time.
