TAG Heuer Meridiist: Almost an anagram for 'it is merde'

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We sympathise with the Google execs, who are only getting paid $1this year. With only $10.1bn in the bank, what inexpensive little trinketcould soothe the disappointed supernerds?

How about the Meridiist, the new luxury mobile phonefrom watch-maker TAG Heuer? The company spells its name all in caps, presumably to remind us toscream it at our underlings when they ask us what phone we would like to carrytoday. MERIDIIST, worm!

Features aren't really the point, but TAG Heuer says thehandset will have a 2-megapixel camera with sliding lens cover, 2GB of memory,a music player, a secondary OLED screen, and a battery with 7 hours talk time or 28 days standby time.

The phone will be mostly stainless steel, but options forthe back plate include calfskin leather, rubber and alligator skin, perfect forwaving in the faces of lesser mortals as you pass them on the way to the first-class cabin.

TAG Heuer says we'll have to fork over €3,400 to €4,500 (£3,160to £4,180) depending on the model, and promises that 'diamond-finished'models with prices starting at €8,500 (£7,890) are on the horizon.

Like its luxury competitor the Ulysse NardinChairman, the phone will be shown at the Baselworld 2009 watch show, which is heldin a bubble universe where the recession isn't happening and people are stilldrinking pearls dissolved in wine.

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TAG Heuer says that the Meridiist will sport a couple of special features: the 'Time Unit' and the 'multi-function TAG Heuer switch' that will meet 'the needs of the executive in important meetings'. So that's a clock and an off button.